Landrew’s Take on Technology

Every now and then there are these guys that are all like “Hey! I want to do stuff but I need you to put a check next to my name to do it,” which seems weird at first because you’re like, “I never need to get somebody to put a check next to my name in order to do something like make a sandwich.” Well different guys need to do different stuff and some guys need checks next to their name. These guys are called candidates and putting a check next to their name is called voting for them. Confused? Well here are the answers to some of the big questions:

When I’m grocery shopping I put checks next to the things on my list when I find them. Does that mean I’m voting for my groceries?
No, but you’re right – it is pretty confusing. That’s why pro grocery shoppers like moms cross stuff off their lists instead.

If I vote for someone what do they get?
It depends on what they’re running for.

Wait, you mean like jogging?
No – it’s different than jogging. It is sort of like a race but everyone wears suits and no one wears sneakers and the winner is the guy who gets enough checks next to his name (votes) and gets to be called something cool.

What can people run for?
A bunch of stuff – but most people who run for something run for president since it’s the biggest.

Ok – so I got this voting piece of paper and there are names and places to check next to them but then there’s this other place where it says I can write in someone’s name! What’s up with that?
That’s for if you want to vote for someone who didn’t get his name on the list. This is also a totally sweet place to be really funny. Actually, I barely ever vote for a real candidate. Usually, I just go straight down to the write-in section and write something super hilarious like “Your Mom” or “My Butt” or “My Mom’s Butt” or “Mr. Butt.” This way the vote-counting guys, who must be really bored, can laugh at my awesome joke.

But wait – if there’s a write-in section does that mean that a bunch of people could write my name in and I could become president?
Yes – with write-ins, anyone could become president, so it’s always good to have a plan just in case.

Landrew – what’s your plan just in case you become president?
That’s a really good question. First, I would make sure that every really small town had at least one skyscraper, so if you were driving by you could be like, “Hey there’s a town there!” Then I would use the troops to get rid of all the bees and skunks since they don’t do anything that’s not really lame. After that I’d work on making cars that run on iced tea, because there are like forty brands of iced tea these days, so there’s got to be some extra around