MP3 Cell Phones

Do you like listening to music?  Do you like talking?  Did you answer yes to both of these questions?  If you answered yes to these three questions, you should get an MP3 cell phone!

A cell phone with an MP3 player in it?  Could it get any cooler than that?  Yeah, because most MP3 cell phones also have a camera built in, making it one of the best three thing combos in history along with alarm clock radios that play CDs, TVs with built-in VCRs and DVD-players and turkey, bacon and ranch.

But take it from me, having so much fun stuff in such a small thing can be a bit confusing at first.  For a while, when my phone would ring, I would accidentally hit the “Play MP3” button instead of the “Receive Call” button and think that my favorite bands were calling me from the studio, like they had finally gotten all of my letters.  But no such luck.

While having MP3s in the same place as phone calls was weird at first, I did find a way to turn it around and make it cool.  I recorded an MP3 of me saying, in my attractive-sounding girl voice, “Landrew, you’re so good-looking, like me, and I want to make out with you, like we did that other time,” and then I loaded it onto my phone.  Now whenever I’m in a crowded public place I play it out loud so everyone can hear and pretend to be embarrassed and say, “Oops, I must have hit speaker phone on this private call with my girlfriend.”

I asked Greg, my roommate, if I could use his girlfriend for the recording, since she’s always over at our apartment without anything better to do.  He said no and that I was creepy for asking.  I was ok with that response because, really, her voice doesn’t sound very attractive anyway.  It kind of sounds like an old lady’s voice.  But maybe I just think that’s how it sounds because of how she looks.

Now you’re probably thinking, wait a minute!  A camera, a phone and an MP3 player?  How big is this thing and how many tons does it weigh and how many wires are involved?  That’s just the thing – it’s small and wireless and weighs a lot less than one ton!

In fact, it’s so small that I used to lose mine all the time.  But there’s an easy way to fix this problem – buy another MP3 cell phone!  Use one as an MP3 player and the other as a phone and then if you lose one you can just call it on the other to hear it ring and find out where it is.  As long as you keep track of one at all times, you’re fine.  I’m saving up for a third to use as a camera so I can take pictures on it, text them to my cell phone and then text them from my cell phone to all of my friends.

I used to wonder, what will they add to cell phones next and I think I’ve figured it out: tiny robot legs.  That way when your phone rings and is in a different room, it will come find you.  After that they won’t have to add anything else because nobody would want to upgrade since upgrading would mean killing their little buddy.