Landrew’s Take on Technology

Let’s say you meet a girl and she invites you over to her place for dinner.  She seems normal but when you get there, she’s got forks made out of rocks and bones and the meal is uncooked meat.  This would mean that the girl is a secret caveman and you’d be like, “Umm… hey, you don’t need to be like this.  There’s new stuff, like microwaves, that you could use.”  Well if you’re going to make her upgrade her stuff, then you better upgrade your stuff too.  That’s right, I’m talking about mirrors!  We have all this sweet, awesome technology, but our mirrors are still like they were when people rode horses everywhere and houses were made out of hay and mud. I’ve got a few ideas for new features to bring mirrors into the modern age.  Check them out!

Image Saver: Ever wake up with sweet hair, see yourself in the mirror, shower and forget what your sweet hair looked like?  Well with mirrors that could save images, you’d be able to relive that awesome hair whenever you wanted.  I would take a picture every morning.  That way, if there was a scratch on my face and I forgot when I got it, I could go to my mirror archives and be like, “I didn’t have it on Monday, but I did have it on Tuesday.  I must have played with a cat sometime on Monday or really early Tuesday morning.”

Beard Button: Beards are like plants; they take long to grow and sometimes they suck.  A beard button would be a button you could press that would make a digital beard on your reflection.  Then you could choose to shave or let it grow with confidence!

Fake-Breaking Soft Glass: Sometimes in movies, when people are mad at themselves they punch their mirror and it cracks and they seem relieved.  Well in real life, you only get more mad at yourself if you do this, because it might not crack and if it does, you have to go to the hospital.  Well, with mirrors built out of soft glass that make fake cracks when you punch it, you wouldn’t get hurt at all!  It could also have a remote so that if you were mad at someone, you could be like, “look at my mirror,” and then secretly press the button on the remote making it crack and they would think they were really ugly.

Scrolling Ads on the Frame: Have a mirror and need some extra money?  Well with this feature, you could rent out the frame around your mirror for scrolling ads.  Then when your friend is in your bathroom combing his hair for a big night out, he could be like, “Huh, I should get some paint!” (That would be if the ad is for paint.)

Picture-in-Picture Back of Head View: Do you have a wacky barber?  If you do, you may be walking around for days with his initials shaved into the hair on the back of your head and not know it.  Well a picture-in-picture view of the back of your head in the corner of your mirror could help you avoid this and other back of the head related problems.  All you would need to do is put a camera right behind you every morning!