Landrew’s Take on Technology

Why Grass?

Scientists always say that plants are really great. This is kind of like saying things with two wheels are awesome and fun. It applies to some of the stuff with two wheels – like speed bikes, some mopeds, and sweet mountain with shocks– but not all of the stuff – like those weird bikes that old guys ride sitting down or cars sawed in half. It’s the same with plants. Crazy jungle bushes are great, but some plants are just lame. One lame plant that we put up with year after year is grass. But why? Why don’t we use technology to make our lawns cooler? Here are some ideas.

Stainless Steel Lawn: Ever walk into someone’s kitchen and think, “Man something about this place makes me feel like I just walked into the future!” It’s probably because they have a stainless steel fridge. Now imagine your entire front lawn made of stainless steel. It would be like if you built your house on top of a giant, lumpy spaceship! Also, you could use grease for year-round sledding! And you wouldn’t get really wet afterwards, maybe just greasy!

Mini Trees: Laptops used to be big and clunky but now they’re small and more awesome. I say we do the same thing with trees. Imagine if you had a whole forest right in your front yard. You could probably make a lot of money, because if a movie director wanted to make a movie about giants, they’d pay to use your yard! Plus, then you’d get celebrities in your yard!

One giant swimming pool: Who says swimming pools need to be in one part of your yard? What if you had a swimming pool that was your whole yard? It wouldn’t be too different if you think about it: you have to water your yard if it gets dry and you would put water in your pool yard if it got dry; when you wake up really early the grass in your yard is wet and if you woke up with a pool yard, that would be pretty wet too. The big difference is, if you sit in a boat in your grass yard you look weird, but if you sit in a boat in your pool yard you would look awesome!

Dancing light-up grass: This would be grass that looks normal most of the time, but then if you wanted to, you could plug your MP3 player into it and it would start dancing and glowing and turning different colors. People would be like, “man, that guy must know how to party! Even his lawn is rocking out!”

Our forefathers had grass yards and so it seems like we should too because it’s traditional. But our forefathers also wore weird curly wigs that made it look like they had white hair even if they were totally young. The “fore” in forefathers is short for “before” as in “before we had any cool stuff.” Maybe we should try to be Fterfathers, where the fter stands for “after” as in “after we got rid of the lame stuff.”